And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
"I’m sorry I couldn’t find an image of a star collapsing, so that’s Jennifer Lawrence."
Trusting people is becoming hard
Keeping my grades up is becoming hard
Feeling pretty is becoming hard
Thinking happy thoughts is becoming hard
Doing work is becoming hard
Maintaining a friendship is becoming hard
Doing everything is becoming hard and I don’t like it